


Fuck, Marry, Kill

by PoemAboutCitylights



Series: Formula 1 // Drinking Games [3]
Category: Formula 1 RPF
Genre: Drinking Games, Fluff, Humor, M/M, Secret Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-26
Updated: 2016-11-26
Packaged: 2018-09-02 09:19:21
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,140
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8661775
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PoemAboutCitylights/pseuds/PoemAboutCitylights
Summary: Dan is a light bulb, Kimi an ice cube and Lewis mixes up some names.





	

**Author's Note:**

> This fic is in no way related to the other parts of my drinking games series sk there's no need to read it but you can do it anyway :)

"Is anyone up for a few beers at my room later? Alonso and I thought we might spend a little extra time together this weekend, considering that it's Jenson's and Felipe's last race and all", Dan explained and looked at the other drivers expectantly. There were all standing in front of the driver's briefing room, some standing in small groups, chatting about the events of the Qualifying.  
Kimi was the first one to answer, making his "bwoah" sound and shrugging his shoulders: "It's a race day tomorrow, Ricciardo."  
"Yeah, mate. I'm aware of that. No one's saying we have to get drunk, it's just about having fun", the Australian flashed one of his megawatt smiles and shook his head.  
"I guess I'm with you, saying goodbye to our brothers from other mothers might get me away from doing PR stuff", Nico Hulkenberg said and Dan grinned at the German.  
"Anyone else? Come on, for Jenson's and Felipe's sake!"  
"We're in", Sebastian exclaimed and made a gesture that included Kimi, Verstappen, Perez and himself.

Dany been standing a few meters away from the older drivers, reading the newest thriller of his favorite author, without paying much attention to them.  
It was when Carlos coughed and said: "I'll bring Dany if that's fine" that his head snapped up and he immediately tried to strangle his teammate through his gaze.  
Carlos knew pretty damn well that Daniil didn't drink, neither did he enjoy too much company, especially the evening before the last race of the season.  
The Spaniard simply shrugged and his lips formed something like " _Get social_ " but he could have been mistaken.  
"Great", Dan smiled again and Dany wondered if the Aussie should spend more time in the gym since he was always bursting with energy, "it's 9pm at my room. See ya!"

To say that he felt uncomfortable when Carlos and him made their way to Ricciardo's room would be an understatement.  
While he had chosen a simple Torro Rosso shirt to wear, Carlos went for a silky something that complimented his slim but in shape figur and Dany felt an itching where the fabric of his shirt made contact with his skin.  
Why had he even agreed to join the other drivers?  
Dany had been an outsider since his first day in Formula 1, the slender kid from Russia with uneven skin, always a book in his hand, and the fact that he had lost his seat at Redbull hadn't exactly helped to increase his popularity.  
"It's fine, Dany", Carlos eventually said and stopped right in front of Dan's door.  
"What do you mean?"  
"Come on, Dany", the Spaniard rolled his eyes at him, "you look like you're about to get sick."  
"Thanks Chili", Daniil replied and the itching increased.  
"What I'm trying to say is that it's time get out of your comfort zone. At least once."  
The Russian was about to interrupt his best friend who raised a hand to shut him up: "Stop hiding away so much, it's good to be focused on the job but those people in there are not your enemies. And I know that you think that they don't like you but that's not the truth. All of them have more or less been in a situation like yours. They've all made mistakes they regret, so stop punishing yourself for that."  
Dany didn't know how to react to the little speech of his teammate so he simply nodded and lowered his gaze. Carlos nudges his shoulder: "Come on, Dany. We'll have a nice time, I'm sure. Talk to them, flirt a little, make smallta-..."  
"Did you just say I should flirt with one of them?! Why should I do that?", he stared at his friend with his eyes wide open, wondering if the Spaniard has officially lost his mind.  
"Because that's what everyone does, Dany! It would be good for your self-confidence, believe me."  
"I'm not even interested in men, Chili, why would I-..."  
Carlos' raised eyebrows made Dany shut his mouth, a blush starting to appear on his cheeks.  
"Fine."  
The Spaniard shot him one last gaze and then opened the door.

  
Apparently, they were the last ones to arrive since Kimi, Hulkenberg, Perez were already sitting in a circle on Dan's large king size bed while Jenson, Fernando and Verstappen were standing by the window.  
Dan, being the light bulb he obviously was, ran around in the room and made sure that everyone had something to drink.  
"Hey mates! Great you've made it!", he greeted them and Dany was a little overwhelmed by the impressions, "you can sit with the others on the bed, there isn't that much space but we were thinking about playing a drinking game or something."  
Dany could only nod and was glad when Carlos said something that apparently was funny enough to make Dan laugh (which actually wasn't that hard, as Dany had figured out).  
"By the way, what do you guys want to drink? We have beer, some wine that Jenson bought and Whiskey from Finland", Kimi raised a hand.  
"I'll go with the beer", Carlos said and Daniil mumbled a quick "I don't drink" while he could already feel his cheeks heating up again.  
"Oh", Dan simply said and shrugged, "that's cool. I'll give you a coke if that's okay."  
"'Course", Dany spit out with a hoarse voice and was glad when Carlos dragged him towards the bed, finally escaping the Aussie's intense gaze.  
They were all sitting in a circle on Daniel's now much-too-small-bed when someone knocked on the door and the Australian got up again to open it.  
He let out a small gasp, like everyone else, when a guy in pajamas who turned out to be none other than Rosberg appeared.  
"Eh, I was trying to go to bed early today. With the final decision tomorrow and all. But since I couldn't find any sleep, I thought it wouldn't hurt to come by. Oh and I brought someone with me", he stepped aside to reveal a fully clothed Lewis Hamilton, raising a hand at the other drivers: "Hi."  
Dany thought it was a bit odd that the two Mercedes drivers didn't want to spend this evening on their own to focus on the task ahead of them, let alone the fact that they had shown up together with all the rumors about the tense relationship between them.  
"Cool. And you just randomly met Lewis or what...", Dan asked and questioned what they were probably all wondering.  
The dim lighting of Daniel's hotel room might have played tricks on Dany's eyes but he was pretty sure that the two Mercedes drivers blushed in a deep shade of red before they nodded in unison and snatched two beers out of the Australian's hands.

"So", Jenson started when all of them had gotten more or less comfy on the bed, "Max has proposed to play a few rounds of _Fuck, Marry, Kill_. I guess everyone knows how that works so we'll just start with... Felipe, old man!"  
The Brazilian pouted and crossed his arms in front of him: "I'm waiting."  
"Oh, let me start with the names! What about... Claire, Rob Smedley and... Susie Wolff?"  
"Mh... I will have to kill Rob, have sex with Susie and marry... my wife", Felipe grinned when he was approached with booing, "fine, I'll marry Rob, and kill Claire."  
"Good job, mate", Dan commented and turned to Nico Hulkenberg, "Bernie, Palmer and... Checo."  
"Oh come on Dan, that's too damn easy!", Seb rolled his eyes.  
Nico H. let out a low chuckle and playfully looked Sergio Perez up and down: "I'll definitely kill Bernie, fuck Checo and marry Palmer."  
" _What_?!", the Mexican exclaimed and stared at his boyfriend.  
"Seriously, Checo, have you seen Joylon's ass? I would marry that butt any day."  
His teammate commented on that by turning away from him with a sour face, only to be held back by an arm around his waist and a quick kiss to his neck.

  
"It's Max' turn!"  
"Okay, let's say... Queen Maxima, Christian and your former teammate."  
Max let out a desperate sigh which earned him a few chuckles: "Eh, I'd probably kill Christian - don't tell him! - fuck Maxima and marry Carlos. He's an arrogant shit but he's at least around", the young driver shrugged.  
"That's... a quite practical solution", Dany's best friend said and the two former teammates stared at each other for a few seconds.  
"Kimi's turn!", Sebastian said and grinned at the Fin.  
"Oh, that's very difficult. Is Kimi even interested in people?", Jenson asked.  
"What he interested else? _Animals_?", Fernando asked and his teammate pulled a disgusted face at him.  
"Who knows what Fins do?", the Spaniard replied and Kimi shot a dark glance at him.  
"I'll go for Britta, the Queen and Sebastian."  
"The Queen? Seriously, Jense? Are you mixing up your own fantasies again?"  
"Oh shut it, Ricciardo."

Dany was following the events with lots of distance. He still didn't feel like a part of the group and he wasn't even sure if he belonged here and while some of the other drivers were already a bit tipsy, he was quite fine with his coke.

"Bwoah. Kill Britta, fuck the Queen, marry Sebastian."  
There were a few minutes of silence while Kimi took the opportunity to slip his sunglasses back on his face.  
"That was.. unexpected. In many ways. And I really don't wanna think about that further, so let's continue. What about you, Kvyat."

  
Hearing his name felt like someone had sprayed cold water into his face and Dany nearly jumped. He had never liked the way English-speaking people pronounced his name, it really wasn't that hard, was it? It always sounded so different from his actual name and made him feel even more like an outsider.  
But Lewis' smile was warm and welcoming and he decided to give it a chance.  
"But he's so young, let's make it _Kiss_ , Marry, Kill", Nico H. said and Dany was about to protest when Carlos said: "Max is only 19!"  
"Yes, but Daniil is still good at heart", Sebastian replied and Dan whispered something like " _burned_!" at Verstappen.  
"Fine. Since we were all about former teammates before, I'll go for Daniel, Carlos and Max."  
It didn't escape Dany's notice that he was the first one who got only males to chose and he wondered if the other drivers knew something he hadn't come to terms with himself.

  
_I can't say I'd marry Ricciardo, they'd know about my silly crush? feelings? accent kink? immediately_.  
So he went for: "I'll kill Max, kiss Dan and marry Carlos. Don't people always say that you should marry your best friend?", he smirked at the Spaniard and earned himself a hug.  
"I guess it's Hammertime now!", Dan laughed at Lewis after he had shot Dany a gaze the Russian couldn't interpret.  
"Nicole Scherzinger, Melody Thornton and Ashley Roberts. Damn, I've always wanted to ask you that question", Jenson almost screamed and his eyes started sparkling while he was probably dreaming of the three Pussycat Dolls.  
"Eh", Lewis started and Dany could see that the Brit felt more than just uncomfortable, "I think I would kill Melody, fuck Ashley and marry Nico."  
" _Nico_?", Dan repeated, his eyebrows almost reaching his hairline while the megawatt smile was back on his face. In addition to that, Rosberg had spit out his beer and was now coughing heavily, his head bright red and eyes wide open.  
"Nicole! I wanted to say Nicole! After all, we're still great friends and-..."  
"Sure, Lewis", Daniel winked at the current world champion and patted Rosberg on the back.  
"I wanted to say Nicole, I-..."  
"Then that's something you two should figure out. Rather sooner than later", Dan, sitting between the Mercedes drivers, was now patting both of them, smiling like both his birthday and christmas had come early.  
"So Nico...", the Australian all but purred, "Lewis Hamilton, Kimi and... me. Two smoking hot guys and... an ice cube. Can't be that hard, mate."  
"Chicken!", the blonde German squeaked and threw his hands in the air, emptying what was left of his beer in a rush.  
"No chicken!", Fernando exclaimed outraged.  
"Alrighty. You'll get away with that... for now."  
"Great. Your turn, Ricciardo. Let's say... Jenson's sister, Fernando and... Daniil."

_What?!_

"Seriously, dude?", Jenson rolled his eyes and crossed his arms.  
"Easy peasy, mate. Kill Jenson's sister - otherwise Jense would kill me - fuck Fernando and marry Dany."

Dany wasn't sure whether he could trust his ears any longer. He had met Jenson's sister and he had seen Fernando's shirtless pics on Instagram and Dan would still chose him over them?

"Ooooh, Dan wants to marry Kvyat who wants to kiss our sunny boy? I would say it's time for some.... _**TRUTH OR DARE**_."

 

++++ 

to be continued...

 

**Author's Note:**

> Another part of my Drinking Games series (this one is not connected to the previous ones, like you've probably noticed but there will a sequel starting where this one ended).  
> Please leave kudos and a comment if you liked it and tell me some Questions/Dares you want to read about :) 
> 
> Oh, and the fact that Dan actually uses words like "alrighty" makes me much happier than it probably should


End file.
